Runner’s Anxiety

images (7)Since my Half Marathon last weekend, I have been experiencing Runner’s Anxiety. I have it bad. So bad, in fact that I have considered dropping out of the Walt Disney World Half Marathon.

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I won’t though. I will find the courage to stand at the starting line. I bet you are wondering why I have anxiety at this stage of the game, 2 half marathons into my season with 6 shiny medals hanging on my wall from this season’s races. Well…you see, it’s because I RAN those races already. I know what I am capable of and I am not feeling awesome about it.

This past weekend, some of my team mates and friends went to Disneyland to run the Disney Dumbo Double Dare. Quite the mouthful. There was a 10k on Saturday and to qualify for the Dumbo Double Dare, you had to run the 10k and run the 21.1k the very next day. I am doing a similar race in January. I run a 5k The Thursday, 10k the Friday and 21.1k the Saturday. I opted out of the Marathon on Sunday because I am just not ready. I am positive about that.

I was looking at everyone’s race photos and medals and was thinking about how much fun they were having. When I began to panic a little. And when I say a little, I really mean A LOT. RunDisney requires that you run a 16 mile pace. Pardon me while I laugh my head off. I am not there yet. I am close! My big fear is being swept by the golf cart people telling me to get out of the way and no medal for me. Not being able to complete a race is a big huge massive fear. I think about it and my anxiety levels rise to beyond reasonable levels.

At this point you are likely wondering why I sign up for races if they make me worry so much. Well? I find them fun. No really I do! I like the before and after of the race! During sometimes. Disney Races have a reputation for having lots of entertainment on the course, thus making them more fun than your average race. (FYI Disney ruins regular parades, fireworks and parties because once you go to a Disney one, the rest are just not even in the same league. I imagine Disney will ruin all races for me as well.) Running the Donald (the half-marathon) is a bucket list item for me. So it is important to me to cross the finish line. Sure I want the medal, but crossing the finish line is the important part.

Knowing this gets placed around my neck helps…a lot

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Look how cute Donald is? But knowing this medal is awesome didn’t alleviate my anxiety.

The fact is I am slow dammit! So I looked up past results of the Disney half marathons, including Saturday’s in Disneyland and you know what I discovered? The slowest half marathoner in 2011 took 5 hours. That made me smile! 5 hours!!!!!! that was net time, not clock time! YAY! I think I can run it in about 3:40. That would still give me time to take pictures. Even more recent times had the last runner coming in at 4:32. My first half marathon was faster than that. So now I can breath easier and enjoy these medals too.

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Then maybe I will go for my coast to coast medal.

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But none of these will ever happen for me if I don’t get my feet back into my shoes.

Anxiety is now back…great. I better keep running.

Happy Running!