Runner’s Anxiety

images (7)Since my Half Marathon last weekend, I have been experiencing Runner’s Anxiety. I have it bad. So bad, in fact that I have considered dropping out of the Walt Disney World Half Marathon.

anxiety-girl

I won’t though. I will find the courage to stand at the starting line. I bet you are wondering why I have anxiety at this stage of the game, 2 half marathons into my season with 6 shiny medals hanging on my wall from this season’s races. Well…you see, it’s because I RAN those races already. I know what I am capable of and I am not feeling awesome about it.

This past weekend, some of my team mates and friends went to Disneyland to run the Disney Dumbo Double Dare. Quite the mouthful. There was a 10k on Saturday and to qualify for the Dumbo Double Dare, you had to run the 10k and run the 21.1k the very next day. I am doing a similar race in January. I run a 5k The Thursday, 10k the Friday and 21.1k the Saturday. I opted out of the Marathon on Sunday because I am just not ready. I am positive about that.

I was looking at everyone’s race photos and medals and was thinking about how much fun they were having. When I began to panic a little. And when I say a little, I really mean A LOT. RunDisney requires that you run a 16 mile pace. Pardon me while I laugh my head off. I am not there yet. I am close! My big fear is being swept by the golf cart people telling me to get out of the way and no medal for me. Not being able to complete a race is a big huge massive fear. I think about it and my anxiety levels rise to beyond reasonable levels.

At this point you are likely wondering why I sign up for races if they make me worry so much. Well? I find them fun. No really I do! I like the before and after of the race! During sometimes. Disney Races have a reputation for having lots of entertainment on the course, thus making them more fun than your average race. (FYI Disney ruins regular parades, fireworks and parties because once you go to a Disney one, the rest are just not even in the same league. I imagine Disney will ruin all races for me as well.) Running the Donald (the half-marathon) is a bucket list item for me. So it is important to me to cross the finish line. Sure I want the medal, but crossing the finish line is the important part.

Knowing this gets placed around my neck helps…a lot

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Look how cute Donald is? But knowing this medal is awesome didn’t alleviate my anxiety.

The fact is I am slow dammit! So I looked up past results of the Disney half marathons, including Saturday’s in Disneyland and you know what I discovered? The slowest half marathoner in 2011 took 5 hours. That made me smile! 5 hours!!!!!! that was net time, not clock time! YAY! I think I can run it in about 3:40. That would still give me time to take pictures. Even more recent times had the last runner coming in at 4:32. My first half marathon was faster than that. So now I can breath easier and enjoy these medals too.

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Then maybe I will go for my coast to coast medal.

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But none of these will ever happen for me if I don’t get my feet back into my shoes.

Anxiety is now back…great. I better keep running.

Happy Running!

6 thoughts on “Runner’s Anxiety

  1. You have time to get your mindset back and you will be awesome! You know your boundaries with the full race – I too, am so not there. But you have accomplished a ton – and think of how fun those races will be when you are there. You’ll forget all about the anxiety because the atmosphere will be magical!

  2. Shhhhh. You’re going to be amazing in Disney. And do you know why? BECAUSE EVERYONE IS AMAZING IN DISNEY! It’s DISNEY! Trust me when I say this! I did my first half there in 2012 (Princess) and I didn’t do nearly what I expected I would do but THAT WAS OKAY! Because it’s DISNEY. I’m going for the Coast to Coast at Wine and Dine in November and I can already promise you that I’ll be going nice and easy and taking it all in and taking pictures. Because that’s what Disney races are all about. What’s crazy is that you really can’t move too quickly at them because you’d be bobbing and weaving the whole time. SO. Relax. Breathe. And remember that YOU’VE GOT THIS.

  3. After completing our LuLu Lemon half, my body has shut down from any sort of running. I keep trying but, my will and my drive has left the building! A 10 km run turned into a very horrible 8km run yesterday. We have the Melissa’s 22km coming up at the end of September, and I am freaking out…so much that I would almost would rather take a serious break from running and just go enjoy the hotel and vacation!…. But like you I find races fun, so even if I have to walk that damn thing.. I will be going!

  4. You will do great! Plus who doesn’t want those cool medal around their neck! Keep plugging away at training and put your anxiety to good use. PS-It always makes me feel better to look up race times and gives me a goal to shoot for. 🙂

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